What women really want - Posted 29/04/2009 12:04

Women are excellent at figuring out if a guy is a “Man’s Man,” or if he’s just pretending to be one. The unfortunate fact is that most guys have some growing up to do. If you want to be the kind of guy that women are naturally attracted to (and you don’t need to buy her flowers, gifts or dinners required, although they can help) then you need to let your “immature inner boy” die and mature into the masculine man you were born to be. Women want a man not a boy.

Here are my top 5 ways to be the MAN that modern women want:

1. Learn to attract women by just being yourself.

Many men feel an invisible barrier to becoming a man… and that barrier is magnified by the inability to attract women by just being yourself.
The fact is, many of us have a “dark cloud” that follows us everywhere when we don’t have that special something that makes women want to be with us -- “for no reason at all, just because they enjoy being around you.”
If a man is actually a boy on the inside, then he not only can’t see the path to fix the problem, but he also doesn’t even know that the path exists.

2. Grow up

I believe that most of the people we refer to as “men” today are only called that because of their age and size; it has nothing to do with the deeper meaning of the word “man.”

What happens when a man reaches a certain age, but doesn’t mature past a certain point in life? Or worse, what if some vital part of the maturation process that’s usually present in the external world isn’t there at a critical point in a man’s development… so that he winds up stuck at a certain psychological or emotional point?
This is the problem most of us guys face: We were never shown the way to manhood, and now we have to figure it out for ourselves.
3. Take personal responsibility
Men often refuse to accept personal responsibility and this can be manifest in a myriad of ways. Men often try to follow a woman who doesn’t want to lead, and when she doesn’t lead, the man tries to convince her to lead with the type of questions and body language that seeks approval. She leads, he follows -- in fact, she isn’t even leading, but he tries to follow. This is a huge mistake.

Instead, step up take responsibility and take the lead. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean being intractable or dogmatic but its about leaving the old immature nature behind and showing her that as a man you take responsibility. Take personal responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and your situation.

Learn to see how the choices you’ve made have led you to where you are. Refuse to be a victim -- and refuse to give anyone the power to take your joy from you. Women find this type of self-responsible guy very attractive.
4. Face up to your insecurities
 
Instead of hiding the things that you’re insecure about try facing them. 
Confront your fears and insecurities head on until you have conquered them. Many men are insecure about any number of issues and can project these insecurities onto those around them. This is a very damaging type of behaviour.

Acknowledge the issues you have and develop a constructive (albeit possibly painful) way of dealing with them.


5. Stop being needy

Many men feel “left out” if a woman wants to do something alone or with friends other than him. 

This is not rejection.
Get over the automatic-response feeling of jealousy, loss or sadness if she’s looking forward to enjoying doing something without you.
Cultivate your ability to want to do things without her… and enjoy them.
 
This is especially important when it comes to women who are new in your life. It’s mature to allow others to live their lives and enjoy experiences without you and without you feeling that you’re losing something.

The other side of this coin is to allow yourself to live your life and enjoy your own experiences -- without needing others to validate your enjoyment.

I am not saying that a couple should live totally separate lives (in fact that is equally damaging) but that a woman is not rejecting you just because she has a separate interest.


In summary:

Becoming the type of masculine, complete man that women are uncontrollably attracted to is a process.

As soon as you think you’ve arrived, you see there’s another higher level on the horizon.

Sadly, most guys never get started on this journey to true adulthood.
They remain little boys trapped inside a man’s body.

But if you want to be a man who has a continual stream of women in his life -- or one high-quality woman that you can keep for as long as you like -- then commit, right now, to do whatever it takes to grow yourself into the man you were born to become.

To contact E.Bandannes for any relationship advise please send your
enquiry to:

editor@traffordliving.co.uk

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